New Essay: The Unbearable Halfness of Being (Part 1)

What does it mean to live with one foot out the door?

Photo by Nathan Wright on Unsplash

This is a longer one so I’m releasing it in two parts. Part two will post in a few days.

Last summer on an episode of The Unspeakable, I made a comment that seemed to resonate with a lot of listeners. I said that for the past several years I’ve been living with one foot out the door. By that I meant that I’ve been in a limbo state wherein I can’t bring myself to make any long-term commitments, particularly with regard to where I’m living. This has caused me (allowed me?) to keep many things at arm’s length. The list of concerns I’ve shoved aside because right now is only temporary range from seriously reckoning with my financial future to making myself available for any relationship, platonic or otherwise, that would require me to put anything on my calendar more than a month out. Meanwhile, that calendar flies by. The clock ticks. The future descends into the present. And yet I can’t bring myself to step inside or outside of the door and just close it behind me already.