Nobody Will Love You Unless Somebody Hates You

Lessons for writing. And for life.

Photo by Birmingham Museums Trust on Unsplash

I’ve been playing around with ideas for a craft book (craft as in the craft of writing, not macrame or anything like that) and thought I would try a few things out here. If you’ve taken my classes, you’ve heard me talk about some of this. But the reputational aura concept is new. Enjoy!

When I teach writing, one of the things I make sure to say to my students before I release them into the cruel world of rejection letters and Twitter outrage is this: “Nobody will love you unless somebody hates you.” 

Let’s establish from the outset that “hate,” as your mother probably told you, is “a strong word.” As overused as it is, it still shouldn’t be taken lightly. When I say “hate” henceforth here, I’m really just using shorthand for a slightly cumbersome concept: the idea that there exists a pre-approved, collectively agreed-upon designation for someone who you know you’re not supposed to like, though you’re not exactly sure why. Often that designation is labeled “hated figure.”