14 Comments
Sep 14·edited Sep 16Liked by Meghan Daum

Dearest Meghan,

I have vivid memories of "Vallley Girl" and Frank Zappa testifying in Congress.

While listening. I kept thinking about the esaay by Alice Munro's daughter and Jeannette McCurdy's book. Moon Unit becomes at least the third person in a short time period to write about their (toxic?) mother post-mortem.

Im a libertarian so i generally believe people can write what they want whenever they want. But something about waiting post-mortem gnaws at my conscience. I suppose the objection is that the subject doesnt have the opportunity to clarify the assertions or defend themselves. (This objection dates all the way back to Mommie Dearest).

This episode then prompted me back to your Art Monster essays. I didnt see any specific mention of the ethics of waiting post-mortem to write about events that occurred years or decades earlier. (Which I distinguish from writing about a person's last days just prior to death). I would love to hear your thoughts on this aspect of the personal essay/memoir.

Theres' no right or wrong approach. But I do give Soon-Yi Allen credit for airing her feelings about Mia Farrow while Mia is still alive. There's also an excellent episode of The Glenn Show in which Loury allows his son to interrogate him about his memoirs. (Though both had been hurt, father and son are very respectful to each other.)

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Sep 16Liked by Meghan Daum

Interesting point. FWIW - Author Jimmy McDonough has said (I forget exactly how he said it) that writing post-mortem provides the ability to tell a less biased or influenced story. If the subject is still living, you have certain limitation on telling the story. He was comparing writing a biography for a living musician (Neil Young) with writing a biography of Tammy Wynette after she had passed. What I understood him to say is that the story could be more honest. I don't doubt it!

As for ethics, I imagine it's different writing about celebrities vs. family members. When they're both, I'm sure lines get blurred.

Like you, I believe that as long as the writer is sharing their honest truth, it's ethical. Altho, the example Meghan gives about Sarah H's defense of the child written about in the NY article is something to consider. An adult is fully formed (in theory) and a child still mentally developing should maybe be given privacy/anonymity until they are a mature adult.

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Sep 16·edited Sep 16

I think the distinction between writing about an unrelated celebrity/public figure vs. a family member is an important one. The professional author writing a biography of Neil Young is presumably not using the book as a platform for grinding personal axes. (Unless the author happens to hate "Cinnamon Girl". My personal favorite is "Old Man" followed closely by "Only Love Can Break Your Heart".)

By contrast, the author who has their parent as subject is inextricably intertwined with the narrative. In that context, explosive post-mortem allegations of long-ago misdeeds can create the objection of speaking ill of people who cannot defend themselves.

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Sep 17·edited Sep 17

We'll see what Jimmy writes when Neil kicks it... if you know anything about the process of writing that book, the sequel will be scathing! lol

Good point, tho!

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Sep 13·edited Sep 13Liked by Meghan Daum

Ahh, so excited for this one! My best friend is a huge Frank Zappa fan and got me to read Moon’s book “America, the Beautiful” back when I was in high school, so seeing this my feed brought back fond memories.

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Sep 14Liked by Meghan Daum

Christ on a bike, I wasn't prepared for the sadness this evoked. I keep landing on an image of a little Moon hustling for attention and care. Heartbreaking.

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Sep 20Liked by Meghan Daum

This interview is harrowing and riveting and inspiring.

Zappa was a huge presence during high school years and the greatest concert I remember was Frank Zappa at Lincoln Center in New York City.

I had an opposite kind of mother from Moon.

My garage is filled with boxes containing her journals of joy and despair.

My three siblings were happy that I was able to keep them.

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Sep 20Liked by Meghan Daum

You both had an amazing rapport - that was marvelous, thank you!

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Sep 17·edited Sep 17Liked by Meghan Daum

Loved this interview (and this morning woke up while dreaming that I was in a house with Moon and Dweezil Z. and a lot of other people, making toast, and one of the windows, made of Plexiglas, was broken.)

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Sep 16Liked by Meghan Daum

This was a great discourse - good chemistry and convo!

Frank, my cat (named after Sinatra - a different misogynist with that name lol) really enjoyed hearing her name throughout this episode.

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Sep 16Liked by Meghan Daum

Amazing!

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Great conversation! Back in the 70s I spent a few hours with Frank in the basement, doing an interview, and he wanted to watch claymation. Which we did. If you listen to the very first mothers of invention album (freak out!) you’ll see that it’s full of social commentary. One stand out is “trouble coming every day.“ Your conversation with Moon is also stand out.

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Sep 14Liked by Meghan Daum

A fascinating conversation, and I can’t wait to read this book. Thank you!

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In 7th grade, the Mothers of Invention hit my school with everyone repeating his line: "Only thirteen and she knows how to nasty". I read Rolling Stone so I knew Frank loved groupies, and he was the biggest backer of the Plaster Casters. In other words, he seemed to be someone to avoid if you weren't of the groupie frame of mind. Then he seemed to clean up his act, he was having kids and was Tipper Gore's antagonist regarding free speech. I thought maybe I misjudged him. But, now, I realize he was what he seemed to be - musically very serious, but human-being wise, not so much. Now, obviously, Gail was worst. But, I am back to my junior high opinion of him.

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